Getting Our House in Order

Acts 2:14, 22-32; Psalm 16; 1 Peter 1:3-9; John 20:19-31

Welcome to the first sermon in this series of four sermons – Developing a Joyous Family – Advice for Christian Parents and Grandparents.
Let me first thank you all for your prayers and support after my father Jack Boley’s heart attack last Thursday, and his passing on Monday. We are confident that my Dad is now awaiting the Resurrection and his face-to-face meeting with Christ.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing with you ideas from God’s Word about how to develop a joyous family, advice from the Bible about how to go about life. So today, we’ll be looking at how Jesus started things up with His family, the men we call the disciples, and how he led them to become known for their joy.

My Wife Saundra and I have moved twelve times since we’ve been married. And so we have developed a pattern for getting our house in order.

First, we walk the empty house. We look at each room and discuss and dream about that room, just the two of us. We might take measurements, but we definitely take some time talking and thinking about each room. We are developing a series of shared beliefs about what our house will look like, about how each room will be used, about what makes a workable and fun life in that house. We know what we will do in this house and we have a basic agreement on what is important, what is going to happen, and where we are going with each room. We are beginning to get our new house in order.

When Jesus came back on that first Easter after He had been executed on the cross, there were certain things he did.

First, He appeared to Mary and the other women, and He told Mary in particular that He was back and that His disciples should plan to meet him in Galilee. The women ran back to where the rest of the disciples were and delivered the message.

Then, Jesus caught a couple of disciples walking toward the village of Emmaus and explained Scripture to them. When they finally realized who they’d been walking with, these two disciples ran back to Jerusalem and found the other disciples.

And then, our reading for today begins.

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you!”

So that first evening, Jesus laid out some basic ground rules for the new Jesus movement. You see, shared ideas and beliefs are the basis for a sound family and a sound church.

First, He said “Peace be with you!” twice. In the new Jesus movement, there would be peace. The Jesus movement was not a struggle, not a jihad, not a war, but it was peace-bringing. The people who follow Jesus will seek and bring peace wherever they go – in their personal lives, in their groups, and into the world.

And so, in a similar way, if we are starting a family, if we are forming a family, if we are training people in a family or in a group of disciples, we should also make our home or gathering place a place of peace and safety, a place where the struggles in the world disappear, like a great castle made of thick walls of stone and concrete which the storms in the world never move in the least bit. Here, at least, when people come home, they will have peace. They can sleep soundly at home. This peace is the basis for all good families – and all good churches.

Next, Jesus said that He was sending the disciples just as the Father had sent him. “As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.”

Now, the disciples would no longer be students, they would be apostles – those who go out and proclaim. This was fundamental to what the new Jesus movement would be about – the people who follow Jesus proclaim. Families, you see, need a common purpose.

In the same way, the shared beliefs of a family will determine their purpose together. For example, from the earliest days, our children have known that they are to learn about Jesus and God and Christian ideas, because as they grow they will also change over from being disciples to becoming apostles as appropriate for their ages. Ian is in China but speaks to students from many countries about Christ. Andy is at WVU but speaks to many students about Christ – even online. Jessie is in Alaska and shows her Christianity in her compassion for her fellow workers at the fab shop she works in. They have each different professions, but still have a common purpose – sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ with people. It brings them together and is a source of conversation when they are together. What will you be sending out your children and/or grandchildren to do?

And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit..." 

Jesus breathed upon the disciples, His family, and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” Jesus supernaturally put deep inside them His voice, His Spirit, His guidance about what was right and wrong, what should be done and what should not be done, about where to go in life.

Notice that Jesus did not give his disciples, His spiritual children, an option here. Although they may have had the initial choice three years earlier to follow Jesus or not, they no longer had a choice. If you were following Jesus, you received the Holy Spirit. That was the way things were done. A month or so earlier, we are told that Jesus and his disciples were baptizing people at the Jordan, the way John the Baptist had done. One assumes that all the disciples, if not previously baptized, were baptized at this time.

We would do well to imitate Jesus’ family, the group of disciples.

In the United Methodist Church, like many other denominations, we believe that God performs actions on our hearts during baptism. We believe that the Holy Spirit is given to the one being baptized through the laying on of hands. And we believe that this does not require our active belief to be helpful to us in life – only our lack of opposition. And just as we would have no difficulty baptizing a person who was mentally unable to make a decision for himself or herself, we believe that it is not only “okay”, but it is proper and ethical to baptize even the youngest children, because, after all, if we truly believe that Jesus is the only way to eternal life, it is the height of proper ethics, because who would want their child to live eternally in Hell?

Many modern parents, even church-going parents have adopted the idea that if we let our children grow up to a certain age of accountability, then they can decide what they want to believe. And this is where we have failed to connect the dots about what this means, we have missed something, a worldly argument has been made that ignores a couple of very important points.

First, it assumes time, time for people to grow up and make a decision. Now we live today in a world where most children live to adulthood. But let me tell you something…we don’t always have time. Two weeks ago on Friday the 7th, after I brought him home from an overnight stay at the VA because of a bit of atrial fibrillation and pneumonia, I had a discussion with my 83 year old earthly father about whether or not he had been baptized. He did not think he had been. He joked that he was too sick that day for the river. I pointed out we could sprinkle. He said, “Well...Let me think about it.” Over the weekend and week he recovered remarkably and changed out his mower deck on Wednesday.

On Thursday the 13th, feeling wonderful, he walked to the pizza place across the street after his followup doctor's appointment and and an over-the-phone discussion with his cardiologist, updating him on his recent visit to the VA and discussing medications. Apparently perfectly healthy, he sat down with his high school friends for their monthly lunch. A few minutes later, he had a massive heart attack. He never regained consciousness. Time was up. As his son, I assumed he would eventually want to be baptized, but that didn’t matter - I acted for him on his behalf in his best interest, so Monday morning I baptized him with the help of two other pastors. He died a few hours later.

We only have "all the time in the world" after we believe, turn our lives over to Jesus, and are baptized…not before. Until then, we are like an insect hanging on a piece of spider’s silk over a fire, ready to be dropped into the flame whenever God loses patience with us. Enough time is never a valid assumption.

The second thing that waiting tells us is something about the parent’s view of religion - although most people don’t realize this until I point it out to them, because the world’s view is so common, so pervasive, so tied to our ideas of personal freedom as the ultimate virtue that we simply don't notice this point until it is pointed out to us.

Please consider this: If you are a devout follower of Jesus Christ, truly believing that Jesus is “THE way, THE Truth, and THE Life,” then why won’t you baptize your child? Why will you give them a choice in whether to go to church or not, to be baptized or not? Is it because down deep you really think that Jesus is “A way, A truth, and A possible way to life?” Why else would you give them a chance to grow up as atheists, Buddhists, Moslems? You may not realize it, but your actions tell your children in no uncertain terms about how deeply you believe in the truth of what Jesus said.

And if YOU believe that Jesus is "The Way, THE Truth, and THE Life", what about yourself? Why are you putting off your own public profession of faith, your own baptism, your own point where you proclaim the truth in front of your family? Is it because you haven’t yet decided to commit your life to the God you’ve said you love? My friends, how much time do you have left?

But there are more things than our Christian faith we must pass on to our families. Like the early followers of Jesus, we all need to communicate to our families that in certain things we are so convinced of the rightness of those things that there is no other way allowed. We never drive drunk, we never do drugs, we vote every election regardless of the candidates. We go to church unless we are so sick we can’t. Following Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

Some families make a choice at an early age. Soccer or dance or baseball is more important than church. Other families make a rule – we might miss one Sunday a quarter for another event, but it had better be important. I’ve seen other families decide - or allow their children to decide – that some sports or activities are more important than church. These rules need to be decided upon at the earliest age possible so they will become part of your children or grandchildren’s spirit. For example, you might make a rule that at Grandma’s house, we pray before every meal and if you spend Saturday night at Grandma's house, you will go to church with her the next morning.

In the same way, if you will repeat certain things every few months to your children, they will gradually sink into your family’s spirit. These can be practical things like how to tighten a nut on a bolt – “right to tight, left to loosen”, or they can much more general, abstract concepts like “If it’s big enough to worry about, it’s big enough to pray about.” Or, as in our family: “We are Boleys, we can read and find the answer.”

A family can establish a spirit deep into the family. In ancient Rome, there was an ancient, wealthy family, the Bruti. Around 700 BC, a member of the Bruti family killed the last king of Rome and the Roman Republic began. For almost seven hundred years, the Romans enjoyed a republic form of government, with elections and leaders elected to offices for short terms. But around 50 BC, Julius Caesar began to act as a tyrannical dictator, and so Brutus, of the Bruti family, led the conspiracy that knifed him to death in the Senate chamber. The Bruti family’s purpose and spirit was to destroy tyrants, kings, and dictators in Rome. That was why they did this – it wasn’t mere coincidence – it was what the Bruti did.

In the same way, your family may be pastors, they may be carpenters, they may be teachers, they may be politicians, they may be thieves. They may help the sick, they may build great public works in the town, they may be the people who show up with food when there are family crises around town. Your family may be known for being the best mechanics – or the people who shoot rabid dogs. What does your family do? What is the spirit of your family that you pass on from generation to generation? If you don’t know, then create a family spirit, a family motto, a family tradition. It will pull together your family! But start with a spiritual basis grounded in the Holy Spirit and baptism and the Word of God.

"But what if my child is a certain age? How do I ask them if they want to be baptized?" 

You don’t. If you really believe Jesus is the only way, you say, “You are now x number of years old. It is time you were baptized. It will be exciting because the Holy Spirit will come and live with you. Which Sunday will we do this?”

You see, your child, like all children, is infected with the disease of sin that will kill them. The vaccine is baptism and the Holy Spirit, which will allow them to live forever. Isn’t it about time for that vaccine?

That night in Jerusalem, Jesus said more to His family, His disciples:

“If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

Jesus was establishing another ground rule for the disciples. He was establishing a rule which gave the disciples responsibility for their friends and neighbors. In the same way, in a family, it is important to get the house in order by establishing that the children will be held responsible for the behavior of their friends in the house. The friends are not responsible for the behavior of the children. And that establishes that the children have what used to be called noblese oblige, the obligation of the nobles to behave with a higher moral and ethical standard than the average person. “This is what makes our family different,” you say. “They may get drunk at the party – we drive them home soberly.” Or you may say, “Other people may not know what to do – we always have a plan. What is your plan for tonight?” We Christians build pride in belonging to our family – and we do that not by assuming superior airs over others, but by assuming superior obligations above and beyond those obligations others are required to assume. We want an attitude of “Our family isn’t better just because…it is better because we step up and do more for others.”

That first night, though, a family member was missing. Doubting Thomas was missing in action. He wasn’t there when the rules were laid out. But that didn’t stop Jesus...

Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
The key lesson Jesus taught his family that second evening was that they could and should rely upon and trust one another. If Peter and John say Jesus is alive, believe it, Thomas! If brother and sister says “Dad said to clean the kitchen,” then you’d better get it clean before Dad comes home! You will notice that once again, Jesus insisted that “Peace be with you!” to his entire family before he dealt with the unbelieving Thomas. He wanted peace first, because it is only on a peaceful foundation that a house can be built.

Fifty years ago, families were generally more stable than they are today. Most people my age had only two parents each at their weddings. Today, it is a rare wedding that doesn’t have non-biological bonus parents present. Many grandparents are raising children, single mothers are common, foster parents are in need.

In all of this, those who find themselves with new, young people in their lives need to first of all get all - or most of - the important adults on board and attempt to establish the ground rules for getting the house in order - or back in order - in the same way my wife and I walk a new house to decide which room will be used for which purpose.

As you build your house and get it in order – or if you have to once more get it in order – look at the key steps once again that Jesus took.

First, He established a place of peace – the family of God.

Second, He established a family purpose – in his case, spreading the Gospel. I happen to think that that is a wonderful family purpose because it drives many other good things in a family.

Third, he made sure everyone had a common spirit, the Holy Spirit. He made sure that all were being guided by the Word of God and that Holy Spirit, which would lead them in the same direction, allow them to work together, and keep them on the common family purpose. And He did not give them a choice in the matter – "In this family, this is what we do."

And fourth, He made sure that everyone could trust the words of the others in the family, as Thomas learned when Jesus came back the second Sunday evening.

But I will tell you that there is something even more foundational than what Jesus did that first Sunday evening after the Resurrection, so many years ago in Jerusalem.

Jesus made it all possible, for Jesus was obedient to God’s will even to death on the cross. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t fun, it wasn’t something He wanted to do – His words in the Garden – “Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me,” show us that it was agonizing for Him. But He obeyed God and did what had to be done. He did not run and instead he went to His death on the cross, a death that involved being beaten, stripped naked and embarrassingly was placed in front of many people, and then He died.

Sometimes, the heads of households have to do things which are embarrassing. Sometimes, heads of households have to do things which are painful. Sometimes, heads of households must do things which are agonizing, but they must be done for the sake of the children, as Jesus went to the cross for all of us.

Your example, like Jesus’ example, may be the very thing which saves your children or grandchildren. Your example, like Jesus’ example, may be what sets your children or grandchildren free to live life fully. Your example, like Jesus’ example, may be what leads them from a life of slavery to an abundant, eternal life, for we are the Body of Christ in this time at this place, and if our children and grandchildren cannot learn what it means to be Christian from us, then who shall teach them?

The world won’t. The world will teach them how to die young. The world will teach them how to love the wrong gods. The world will teach our children and grandchildren how to live in slavery to sin and death. Our responsibility is to lead them to Christ.

And so, I ask you now: Will you come to prayer and ask for the help of almighty God for a task too strong for any of us? Will you pray that God will give you the answers you will need? Will you pray in front of your children and grandchildren simply because you need your children and grandchildren to know that there are times in our lives when each of us simply needs to bow before God and this is a sign of our strength of character and not of weakness?