Welcome to the fourth sermon in this series of four sermons – Developing a Joyous Family – Advice for Christian Parents and Grandparents. Today is “Establishing Love and Respect”.
The world tells us to never admit our faults, but to tolerate any behavior from our children. We are told by the world that religious ideas are all opinion and therefore all are equally true. We are told by the world that holding onto our convictions is wrong, for it shows that we are inflexible. Yet the Word of God, the Words of Jesus Christ, the words put down in the Bible disagree. The key to love and respect, you see, is wisely knowing which parts of us should bend – and which parts should be inflexible.
Our Gospel reading today is one of the most important parts of the Bible. Jesus is speaking to His disciples during their celebration of the Passover Meal. Jesus has washed the disciple’s feet, explaining to them that they must act as servants for each other, and for those who will come into the kingdom. He then predicted Judas’ betrayal and Judas left. Perhaps even more heart-breaking was his prediction that Peter, his leading disciple, would deny even knowing him that very night. Even Peter, His most ardent follower, would deny knowing Jesus – and Peter had known Jesus face to face for three years. Is that why we also deny knowing Jesus in our daily encounters in the world? Does it upset us that we are more like Peter than like Jesus?
Of course. And understanding our weaknesses is the first key to earning Love and Respect in our families.
Recognizing that we are still more like Peter than like Jesus, claiming great faith, but chickening out when faced with chances to speak boldly of that faith to our friends, our neighbors, and our family. And when we recognize this and admit this, our children and grandchildren will recognize that we are worthy of love and respect, for most people respect those who know and admit their faults more than those who have faults and pretend they do not.
The people around us, especially our close relatives – they know our faults. If you want to build their respect, let them see us as we are…men and women trying to follow Christ, trying to become Christ-like, but constantly looking in the mirror, trying to understand where our image of God which we are does not match up to the perfect image of God we see in Christ.
We love and respect the one we have seen climb and slip and climb the mountain more than the one who simply arrived on the mountain top by helicopter.
That is why we love and respect Peter. We have seen his failures and they are our failures as men and women who are trying to follow God. We respect and love him the greater for the fact he sunk into the depths but came back from those same depths.
And so we come to our reading. Jesus speaks to them…
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
Every time we begin to think that the Eleven core disciples were men of great wisdom and intelligence, the Gospel writers remind us that wisdom came later, after they had spread the Gospel for decades. At this time, having followed Jesus for three years, some of them still didn’t have a clue as to who He was and what He was saying. This is particularly comforting to me when I am confused and mixed up about what path I should take as a man, as a father, as a husband. I look at Thomas, totally lost that evening as Jesus talked about going away from this world, about going to God the Father, about Jesus’ upcoming death and resurrection. Thomas – and this was 10 days before he became known for his doubts – Thomas was confused and mixed up about what the plan was. He didn’t even realize that Jesus was talking theology here – Thomas needed a road map…
Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
If Thomas wanted a clarification, he wasn’t getting it that evening. Jesus was on a roll, teaching deep truths that people today still don’t understand…
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”
In our world, there are many people who believe there are many ways to know God. Jesus was not one of those people. Jesus was very clear that it was His way or the highway. While Jesus loved every person, Jesus also did not tolerate the idea that other ways could get you to God. Are you trying to find the way to God? It is through Jesus. Are you trying to find Truth? It is found in Jesus. Are you trying to find a way to truly live, to live abundantly, to live forever and not find death and destruction? Jesus is the only way. Those are not my words as an intolerant Christian, they are not teh Apostle Paul's words, they are not some seventeenth century theologian's words. Those are Jesus’ words.
We will go a long way toward getting love and respect in our families if we follow this example of Jesus. Jesus loved everyone. But Jesus insisted that certain ideas are right and other ideas are wrong. Have you ever heard that a certain person was “a man of conviction?” If we truly believe that Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life”, then to earn the respect of our families and wise people around us, we need to act like Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life”, not “a way, a truth, or a way to live.” Respect comes when you know what is right and do what is right, no matter the cost. Love comes when you teach others the same – all people, regardless of who they are.
Well, now it was Philip’s turn to get confused and ask for some simplicity. And that helps me, for I often need help leading my family. I don’t know which way to turn, I don’t know what I’m seeing, my children often aren’t the people I learned they were when they were young, for people change as they grow older. The girl I taught to play chess now is the mother of four. The girl I carried on my shoulders is now a mother of three, the young, fearful woman I married and who was scared she had harmed my computer when she touched the keyboard and it beeped at her is now a master of Photoshop and Word, a deep, sophisticated pastor who teaches a hundred people a week how to grow closer to the Creator of the Universe and the only thing she fears is that same Creator of the Universe. Change happens, the world is complex. Sometimes, I just want simplicity and stability in my life, in my family, in my relationships. Just like the disciple Philip…
Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
But Jesus wasn't allowing us to keep a false simplicity.
Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.
One of the ideas that is hard for us to understand is that we really don’t control who loves and respects us. There is nothing much we can say that will change people’s minds about us – but there is a lot we can do. As my son Andy pointed out, "the smallest action is more important than the grandest intentions." And so it is with changing people’s minds about us. We can’t change people’s minds with words as well as we can with actions. Yet words often set the stage for action.
That evening, after the disciples had followed Jesus for three years, listening to His words every day, even seeing His miracles, they were still not convinced that Jesus was God Himself walking upon this earth. They believed that He was sent by God, perhaps as a prophet to speak the words of God, perhaps as a great military leader to set the Jews free from the Romans. But, like many people today, they did not believe that Jesus was of the same divine substance as God the Father. Even though Jesus told them this very clearly several times.
"Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."
The disciples heard – and yet they did not believe. For if they had believed, they would not have run for the hills when He was arrested a few hours later. Peter would not have denied knowing Jesus if Peter had truly believed that Jesus was divine like God the Father was divine, made of the same God- substance, begotten by the Father, part of the three-in-one Godhead that includes God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Those disciples would not have run if they had believed. They heard all the words Jesus said, they saw the miracles, they had eaten with Jesus daily, and yet they ran because they did not believe.
And so Jesus was arrested, the disciples ran, and Jesus died.
But words can set the stage for what we believe when the actions later happen.
And so God the Father took action to prove Jesus’ words. God the Father, testifying through action to the truth of everything Jesus said, speaking through action to the truth of everything Jesus taught, declaring through action to the Universe that Jesus was indeed the divine God the Son, God the Father brought Jesus back to life.
And the disciples believed.
No matter what you say to your children and grandchildren, no matter what you teach them in words. No matter what you have taught your daughter, no matter what you have taught your sons, nothing will lead to love and respect more than simple actions. Actions tell us what you believe better than words do.
Parents, hug your children. Children, hug your parents. Both of you, tell each other “I love you.”
Be there when they need you. Do what needs to be done. Stand up for your convictions.
Do you believe that Jesus is the way, the truth, and they life? Tell your family this today. Baptize your children. Teach them that truly getting involved in the great mission of God is the way to become great in the eyes of God. Show by your actions that sharing the Gospel is critical. Become the man or woman of God that you teach your children to be...and they will be more likely to follow you along that path.
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