Why did Wesley take such a drastic step?
Exodus 12:1-14; Psalm 149; Romans 13:8-14; Matthew 18:15-20
There are multiple biblical considerations for expelling people from a church. The most dramatic was in Acts 5, when Ananias and his wife Sapphira were slain by God one day because they had lied to the apostles about a gift they gave to the church.
But our reading from Matthew 18 was indeed another source. It provides Jesus’ authority for kicking someone out of a church for unrepentant, regular sin.
After kicking out his 64 members, John Wesley put down certain rules for the Societies. To JOIN a society, a person needed to only show that they had “a desire to flee from the wrath to come, to be saved from their sins.”
But after a while in the societies, to CONTINUE in the societies, a person was expected “to show evidence of their desire of salvation, First, By doing no harm, …Secondly, By doing good,…Thirdly, By attending upon all the ordinances of God.”
And Wesley gave specific examples, which we can find that he had applied to the 64 people the week before.
Why did Wesley kick out people?
2 for cursing and swearing
2 for habitual Sabbath-breaking
17 for drunkenness
2 for retailing alcohol
3 for quarreling and brawling
1 for beating his wife
3 for habitual, willful lying
4 for railing and evil-speaking
1 for idleness and laziness, and
29 for lightness and carelessness
(from Wesley and the People called Methodists Richard P. Heitzenrater)
Thomas Willis, one of Wesley’s small group leaders asked for common sense and grace to be applied, especially to Sabbath-keeping. While he could follow the Golden Rule “very near to perfection,” he could not strictly follow the other written examples, especially the Sabbath-keeping. After all, cows must be milked morning and evening, children must be fed, and milk will not last from Saturday morning until Monday in that time before pasteurization and refrigeration. Wesley, ever the practical man with common sense replied. “Quite right.”
Wesley, you see, recognized that love and forgiveness are more important than strict rule-following.
Wesley even developed a method for handling the troublesome cases, the people who were kicked out of their small groups. He gave them a chance to repent and join a remedial "backsliders" class, just for those who had drifted back into a non-Christian way of living.
So how should we handle things today? How should a dispute between people be handled – either a small dispute between two people in the church, two people on Facebook, or a large dispute between nations, such as the current dispute between America and North Korea?
In all things, we are to imitate God and Christ and be led by the Holy Spirit. Let’s look first at our Exodus lesson.
After meeting with God at the Burning Bush, Moses returned to Egypt and recruited his brother Aaron as his spokesman. Moses and Aaron had many things going for them. God was behind them, and God Himself had indicted Pharaoh when he said: “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. … And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them.” (Exodus 3:7, 9)
This was not just a dispute between Moses and Pharaoh or even between God and Pharaoh. There were people who were in misery, were suffering, and were being oppressed. Many people were being affected by the policies of Pharaoh. So Moses and Aaron visited Pharaoh and delivered God’s message: “Let my people go!”
Things did not go well at the meeting. Pharaoh would not let the Israelites leave. So God began a pattern of gradually escalating the sanctions against Pharaoh. A series of nine plagues gradually built up the pressure against Pharaoh. Finally, God decided to take a final action. The Angel of Death would travel across Egypt and kill the firstborn of both people and animals. The people of Israel were given instructions that would keep them alive.
They had to bring a lamb into the house on the tenth day of the month. “Oh, a pet lamb”, the children said. “We have a pet lamb!” and then on the fourteenth evening, Dad killed the lamb and everybody ate it and they smeared the blood around the outside of the door and because of that lamb’s blood big brother lived through the night while next door, people didn’t believe Moses and their eldest died.
So God slowly, slowly ratcheted up the sanctions against Pharaoh, giving Pharaoh every chance, every opportunity to change his mind. Finally, after all the death that night, Pharaoh let the Israelites go and they got out of town, but then Pharaoh changed his mind and chased them, only to die when God let the waters of the Red Sea come crashing down on him.
Our God isn’t a god of second chances, God is a god of many, many chances. We always have the chance to turn and ask for forgiveness from God. It is never too late until the end when the dark water of death crashes over you. That is how much God loves us. Remember, Moses, the man who delivered God’s messages, was a murderer who turned to listen to God. He had received a second chance.
When Jesus began His ministry, one of key problems in Judean society was the interaction between the Pharisees and the ordinary people.
The Pharisees insisted that people follow the Laws of Moses. And, to their credit, the Pharisees were pretty good at following those laws. But the Pharisees had almost completely removed love and forgiveness from their lives. To a fine, upstanding Pharisee, following the Law of Moses was everything. If you followed that law well, you were a good person and deserved everything that happened to you. If you didn’t follow those Mosaic laws well, you were a bad person and deserved everything that happened to you.
And so, the Pharisees treated poor people poorly because they didn’t wear the proper, but expensive robes men were supposed to wear. The Pharisees treated divorced women poorly because they all had “obviously” done something to deserve their divorces. The Pharisees treated those who found themselves choosing between working for Romans or not working at all, as unclean because they were speaking with unclean people. To the Pharisees, no one deserved a second chance. The trap of the Pharisees is an inability to give grace and forgiveness, worshiping the Law over God, the Lawgiver.
It is a trap we often fall into today. We don’t hire ex-cons because they did jail time. We don’t hire poor people because they wear shabby clothing. We don’t want to help the drug addicted because they are drug addicted and unpredictable. We don’t talk to people who have said mean things to us because they have said mean things to us. We don’t like to give second chances, yet God is the god of many, many chances.
As Christians, we are to show love to all people, to all our neighbors, to all those people we encounter. And we are tp forgive repeatedly.
In our Romans reading, Paul tells us:
[We have] “the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.”
That is what we owe each other – a debt to love each other. Although there are many other ways we should act, we must be careful, oh, so careful to remember that we are most responsible for our own behavior. We don’t want to take on responsibility for other people’s behavior. That is what causes so much harm in churches and has driven away so many people - when we take on responsibility for their behavior instead of our own behavior.
For example, let’s say you catch a friend of yours in adultery. Assuming the friend is not involved with your spouse, what are we to do? Well, that depends.
Is your friend a very new Christian who really doesn’t know any better? Are you in a position of spiritual authority over him or her, being their Sunday School teacher or similar? If you can answer yes to both questions, pull him or her aside and say, “Perhaps you didn’t realize this, but we Christians aren’t supposed to do this. Just wanted to let you know.”
But really, how many people are very new Christians who don’t know any better?
Let’s be real – In America, virtually everyone realizes that adultery is sinful behavior. So what should we do when we see our friend who has been a professing Christian for years involved in adultery?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
“Pastor, You mean I should turn a blind eye?”
Almost. I guess I'd be more careful about my friend and my spouse being alone together...
But truly, a person’s sin is usually between that person and God, not between that person and you. Let God judge. Leave room to let God enact punishment. Your friend knows he or she is walking a dangerous road. Don’t make things worse by confronting your friend who knows what is right and wrong – or worse yet, by gossiping about him or her.
But if your friend comes to you for advice, say, “Let’s talk!” and then give godly advice. And then keep it to yourself! Don't talk about your conversation. It is how you’d like your sins to be treated, isn’t it?
Paul continues:
The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Remember John Wesley’s first general rule? “First, do no harm.”
But what do we do if a person is sinning against us? What do you do if your friend is committing adultery with your spouse, or has done something shady in a business deal with you or is continually insulting you?
First, consider the amount of harm done. If possible, forgive them. Remember Jesus’ comment on this. Forgive seventy times seven times. Love them. Forgive them.
I often tell new people to this fellowship that we have great people, but that we are still imperfect people. The only perfect person died for all of us 2000 years ago. And so, one day, someone in this congregation – and it might even be me – is going to say something mean and nasty to you one day. And worse yet, it won’t be an accident, they will mean it!
So what do we do that makes us different from most people?
Now, we might get angry. We might be embarrassed. We might get mad. But then, as in all great churches, real Christians say to ourselves and anyone else standing around, “Poor thing. Must be having a rough day.” And we forgive them and let it drop right then and there. Gone. Finished. Forgiven. The ability to quickly forgive is what makes us different.
And Jesus gives us practical commands on how to deal with a dispute in the church. If someone is constantly sinning against you, if they are gossiping about you, defaming you, constantly insulting you, there certain steps we are to take.
First of all, we talk to them privately about the issue. We say, “This is hurting me…perhaps you didn’t realize it. Please stop.” And we give them a chance to stop. Or a chance to make amends. We assume that the other is a godly person. We don’t gossip about the problem first and make it embarrassing to the other, or a test of wills, or of a public power battle. We speak to them privately and quietly and give them the benefit of the doubt.
If they won't stop, the second step Jesus says, is to take one or two other members of the church along, preferably leaders in the church who can testify honestly about what is said. Once again, explain your position and ask the other to stop. Give them a chance to explain and stop without backing them into a corner. Understanding the other and giving them a chance to fix things is the godly way to do things.
The final step is to present the case to the whole church. The Methodist structure would ask that you present the case to the pastor and the church council before going in front of the whole church, for sometimes the dispute can still be handled quietly. Remember – our purpose is never to defeat or destroy our enemy, but for both parties to show godly behavior.
You and I have both seen many situations over the years where people in the church did not follow these steps of forgiveness, love, and quiet, godly discussion. And you and I have seen feelings hurt and churches that began 20-year fights because someone made a negative comment about a dress or a casserole or a Chevy pickup. I’ve talked to many people who tell me their parents left such-and-such church because someone made a negative comment, and those children have now grown, have children of their own, and haven’t gone back to church yet. And now the devil has used that chance comment to keep a generation of grandchildren from salvation.
Listen up! If we insist upon holding other people to a high standard of behavior without being even quicker to forgive, we have missed one of the key lessons that Jesus taught. We are to forgive, realizing that each of us could make the same mistake tomorrow.
Folks, we are all broken people. If John Wesley’s detailed rules were followed strictly, each one of us would be kicked out of the Society. But he was wise enough to show grace and common sense to all but the most troublesome cases, and he even forgave them if they wanted to try again by putting them in a backsliders class.
Just as every set of bicycle gears occasionally gets some dirt and sand in them, every church occasionally gets some friction in the spaces between people. A joke that is out of line, a teasing that goes wrong, a misinterpreted glance can lead to all sorts of problems if we act according to the flesh, the way the world and Satan would have us react. But giving the benefit of the doubt, looking at the other with love and a willingness to FORGIVE what is unforgivable is the grease that keeps the gears of a great church like this one running. Never forget that.
And this advice is not just for churches.
Imagine what our world would be like if we applied the same principles to Facebook. First, private message or even talk to the person on the phone or in person. Next, discuss in a small private group with wise mutual friends. Only as a last resort go public. And always be ready to forgive at any step - yes, even without an apology, even if they insult you further. Can you imagine what our political discourse would be like in this country if we allowed politicians the grace to make mistakes and forgave them when they do?
Marriages and other relationships also get sand in the gears. Too often we think we are reading the other’s mind. Too often, we react to the first expression on our spouse’s face, too often we don’t realize that the other has already let something go – because we haven’t let go of something else. Direct communication, coupled with love and forgiveness, are keys to keeping marriages and other relationships healthy. Married Christians should forgive each other constantly.
When Saundra and I go out, we often overhear married couples speak to each other. Some speak easily, secure with each other, loving each other deeply.
But others speak to each other worse than schoolboys fighting on the playground.
Robert Heinlein, the science fiction writer, once wrote that formal politeness between man and wife is even more important than in society at large.
Yet, if the truth be known, our marriages are weak because we would rather win an argument than forgive, we would rather be in control than compromise, and we would rather lust after another than do the hard work required to love our spouse. We put our pride before our love.
For in the Greek language, there are four words for love. The love Jesus talks about is not eros, the physical love that burns hot and consumes each other, but agape, the self-sacrificing love that Jesus showed all of us when he chose to die upon the cross rather than let us continue to be slaughtered like sheep. It was the agape self-sacrificing love of God that brought us back to God, forgiven, rather than storge love, the love of a grandparent’s affection for a grandchild. It was the agape self-sacrificing love of Jesus that sent Jesus to this earth to teach us rather than the phileos brotherly love of a man and his brother.
If you want your marriage to be strong, practice more agape, more self-sacrificing love and forgiveness. Do not demand perfection from your spouse – if you want perfection from the one you are devoted to, become a nun or a monk. Instead, do the part you can do – demand forgiveness from yourself.
And then, if possible, you and your spouse will be in agreement and you will pray together. Which provides great and wonderful hope for this world, for Jesus said:
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
A church that is in agreement, that has practiced agape love and forgiveness, is an awesome thing. Here is the body of Christ upon the earth taking form. Just as in a human body, it is focused upon one goal. Here, just as in a human body, the body of Christ is able to accomplish great deeds. Here, more than any human body, the body of Christ can change the entire world.
In 1792, a group of five Christian men founded the Baptist Missionary Society, which is still in existence and has been responsible for the conversion of millions of people around the world. It was the birth of the Protestant Missionary movement.
In 1955, a group of five Christian college students at Wheaton College decided to become missionaries in Ecuador with New Tribes Missions. They and their wives converted the entire group of Waodani people, which has now sent missionaries to other countries.
On June 17, 1729, four men began to meet twice a week for scripture study and prayer in Oxford, England. Bob Kirkland, William Morgan, Charles and John Wesley were the initial group. They became called the Holy Club. They followed God’s leading, they prayed, and soon Methodism was born. Before Wesley died, there were over 500 preachers and 56,000 Methodists in Britain alone. And the American Methodists were just getting started.
Beginning next Sunday evening at 6:30 pm, we will form a small Wesleyan group to meet weekly for an hour. Our purpose, like Wesley’s, is so that our souls may be saved and perhaps others too. Our first concern will be a focus upon what it means to be in a Wesley small group, to show agape love to each other and practice strong forgiveness. And perhaps, we will see just what can happen when we agree upon something and pray for it. All are welcome to attend.
When you are feeling down, when you are angry, when things are going wrong, remember not to go with the emotions boiling and churning in your body, as Paul says, “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”
One final word. I once was very concerned that everybody treat me right, that everybody follow the rules and treat me well. I grew angry when people did not. And thus, I was always angry.
But then, I learned what it means to love others and to forgive others. I learned what I means to clothe myself with the Lord Jesus Christ. I learned to stop thinking about how to gratify the desires of the flesh, but instead I try to do God’s will in all things. It is not easy, but I try.
And now I am rarely angry, I am usually at peace, and my life is much better, for now, I am not trying to control the uncontrollable, which are other people. I only worry about controlling my response, which is to love and forgive people. And it’s funny….when I follow what Christ says to do…I have the peace of Christ.
Amen.
Marriages and other relationships also get sand in the gears. Too often we think we are reading the other’s mind. Too often, we react to the first expression on our spouse’s face, too often we don’t realize that the other has already let something go – because we haven’t let go of something else. Direct communication, coupled with love and forgiveness, are keys to keeping marriages and other relationships healthy. Married Christians should forgive each other constantly.
When Saundra and I go out, we often overhear married couples speak to each other. Some speak easily, secure with each other, loving each other deeply.
But others speak to each other worse than schoolboys fighting on the playground.
Robert Heinlein, the science fiction writer, once wrote that formal politeness between man and wife is even more important than in society at large.
Yet, if the truth be known, our marriages are weak because we would rather win an argument than forgive, we would rather be in control than compromise, and we would rather lust after another than do the hard work required to love our spouse. We put our pride before our love.
For in the Greek language, there are four words for love. The love Jesus talks about is not eros, the physical love that burns hot and consumes each other, but agape, the self-sacrificing love that Jesus showed all of us when he chose to die upon the cross rather than let us continue to be slaughtered like sheep. It was the agape self-sacrificing love of God that brought us back to God, forgiven, rather than storge love, the love of a grandparent’s affection for a grandchild. It was the agape self-sacrificing love of Jesus that sent Jesus to this earth to teach us rather than the phileos brotherly love of a man and his brother.
If you want your marriage to be strong, practice more agape, more self-sacrificing love and forgiveness. Do not demand perfection from your spouse – if you want perfection from the one you are devoted to, become a nun or a monk. Instead, do the part you can do – demand forgiveness from yourself.
And then, if possible, you and your spouse will be in agreement and you will pray together. Which provides great and wonderful hope for this world, for Jesus said:
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
A church that is in agreement, that has practiced agape love and forgiveness, is an awesome thing. Here is the body of Christ upon the earth taking form. Just as in a human body, it is focused upon one goal. Here, just as in a human body, the body of Christ is able to accomplish great deeds. Here, more than any human body, the body of Christ can change the entire world.
In 1792, a group of five Christian men founded the Baptist Missionary Society, which is still in existence and has been responsible for the conversion of millions of people around the world. It was the birth of the Protestant Missionary movement.
In 1955, a group of five Christian college students at Wheaton College decided to become missionaries in Ecuador with New Tribes Missions. They and their wives converted the entire group of Waodani people, which has now sent missionaries to other countries.
On June 17, 1729, four men began to meet twice a week for scripture study and prayer in Oxford, England. Bob Kirkland, William Morgan, Charles and John Wesley were the initial group. They became called the Holy Club. They followed God’s leading, they prayed, and soon Methodism was born. Before Wesley died, there were over 500 preachers and 56,000 Methodists in Britain alone. And the American Methodists were just getting started.
Beginning next Sunday evening at 6:30 pm, we will form a small Wesleyan group to meet weekly for an hour. Our purpose, like Wesley’s, is so that our souls may be saved and perhaps others too. Our first concern will be a focus upon what it means to be in a Wesley small group, to show agape love to each other and practice strong forgiveness. And perhaps, we will see just what can happen when we agree upon something and pray for it. All are welcome to attend.
When you are feeling down, when you are angry, when things are going wrong, remember not to go with the emotions boiling and churning in your body, as Paul says, “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”
One final word. I once was very concerned that everybody treat me right, that everybody follow the rules and treat me well. I grew angry when people did not. And thus, I was always angry.
But then, I learned what it means to love others and to forgive others. I learned what I means to clothe myself with the Lord Jesus Christ. I learned to stop thinking about how to gratify the desires of the flesh, but instead I try to do God’s will in all things. It is not easy, but I try.
And now I am rarely angry, I am usually at peace, and my life is much better, for now, I am not trying to control the uncontrollable, which are other people. I only worry about controlling my response, which is to love and forgive people. And it’s funny….when I follow what Christ says to do…I have the peace of Christ.
Amen.
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